Dear somewhat ordinary mortal
I most cordially and patiently invite you to follow my strong, enlightened lead in the creation of world peace, preferably with the urgency that pursuit deserves.
Your efforts to create world peace obviously require much better management of your time and a more interesting, more compassionate imagination. If you are seeking to improve your currently dismal abilities as a strong, enlightened leader, please acknowledge this invitation before the end of 2017.
Who else is so eager to assist you?
In hopeful anticipation,